Like anyone else in America these days, I've been told to ask myself what Jesus would do. The question is not as hypothetical as it tries to sound. In other words, the historical record is clear: Jesus actually did things. He lived a fairly mendicant life and then he was killed. He also said what He would do if He were in our shoes, viz. sell everything we owned, give it to the poor, and follow Him. He wasn't kidding, either.
If we're not going to follow these straightforward instructions exactly, then we're supposed to apply them to every little situation that comes along, rephrased in the following way: "What would Jesus do if He were me and He didn't want to get rid of all his stuff and die?" Here is a possible answer to that question, as posed while sitting in a bar:
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